


Spoiler Alert! We're In Love.

by dametokillfor



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: ColdAtom Week 2017, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 21:10:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11044413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dametokillfor/pseuds/dametokillfor
Summary: Ray had insisted this wasn’t an actual date, he knew Leonard wasn’t his boyfriend, but Leonard wasn’t so sure. Ray looked at him like he could barely believe his luck – when he wasn’t asking impossible things of him, likedon’t steal the Faberge egg, where would you even hide it?---xIn which Sydney is kind of an asshole, Leonard is in denial, and Ray may or may not know this is totally real.Written for ColdAtom Week 2017 day three, fake relationship.





	Spoiler Alert! We're In Love.

**Author's Note:**

> This is for day three of ColdAtom Week 2017, for the prompt fake relationship.
> 
> This had been sat in my drafts, 90% completed for nigh on six, seven months before the prompts came out. I always wanted to finish it off because it was so fun to write.

As he looks round the room of wealthy socialites, scientific geniuses and far too many gorgeous people, Leonard can spot at least seventeen items of jewellery that he’d like to steal. There’s the ruby and diamond ring on the finger of the elegant redhead. There’s a gold cuff on the slender wrist of the young blonde (and Lisa’s birthday is soon. It would definitely suit her). The cygnet ring on the father of the bride is terribly attractive, but may be a challenge. Leonard  _ loves _ a challenge.

 

“Stop robbing everyone with your eyes, Snart.” Ray hisses in his ear.

 

“Isn’t that what you brought me here for,  _ darling _ ?”

 

“I should have brought Mick.”

 

“Should have, didn’t.” Len reminds him, “Because you didn’t need a brute, you needed a sleaze. And I  _ excel _ at sleaze.”

 

When Ray had first turned up at Leonard’s safe house, he’d punched him for being alive and not telling anyone. He’d then kissed him, a kiss Leonard was a little ashamed to say he’d been waiting for. Finally he’d announced he needed Leonard’s help.

 

Sydney Palmer had recently discovered rumours of his brother’s death had been greatly exaggerated, and had tracked him down. The reunion had somehow lead to Ray being invited to Sydney’s wedding – to Ray’s high school sweetheart - and the insistence that he bring along whoever had kept him away for so long.

 

Which lead to Raymond deciding that Leonard was the perfect plus one. What better way to piss off big bro (“by, like, four minutes!”) than bring along the hot felon you were madly in love with? Of course, madly in love in their case actually meant “ _ fucked a few times, and got killed before you could have the awkward conversation about this obviously not going anywhere after the mission was through _ ”, but that was by the by.

 

Leonard had agreed, mostly due to the promise of an open bar and the knowledge that Ray came from a well to-do family, so there would be priceless items everywhere. He’d spent so long being a good guy, it was time he returned to what he did best.

 

(On top of which, it had helped that Ray had given him one of the top five blowjobs of his life, as further encouragement. Somewhere between Mick on his 30th, and Skye Dawson when he was 17. The sex also hadn’t exactly helped Len’s insistence – mostly to himself – that their bizarre hook up was over, but he wasn’t one to turn down an orgasm.)

 

Ray had insisted this wasn’t an actual date, he knew Leonard wasn’t his boyfriend, but Leonard wasn’t so sure. Ray looked at him like he could barely believe his luck – when he wasn’t asking impossible things of him, like  _ don’t steal the Faberge egg, where would you even hide it?  _ Ray looked at him like it wasn’t an act, like their dalliances had meant something. The way Ray’s hand had rested on his back, scorching him through the expensive suit he was wearing. The soft kisses Ray gave him, different from the harsh and demanding way he kissed on the Waverider. Leonard has gone on undercover missions with him, Sheriff John Wayne is not that good of an actor.

 

Len should say something, will say something, but breaking Ray’s heart in the middle of his brothers reception isn’t good fake boyfriend behaviour.

 

“At least let me steal her wedding ring, then you can steal her back, whisk her away from a life of mediocrity.” Leonard offers, eyeing the platinum band around the new bride’s finger.

 

“I’d rather you stole Syd’s. Let her tear him apart for losing it so soon.” Even when Ray is muttering dark words about his brother, he’s adorable.

 

“Just say the word.”

 

Ray looks over to him, smiles warmly and leans in for a brief kiss. The soft, fond look in Ray’s eyes as he pulls back needs stamping out.

 

“I could seduce your brother.” Leonard suggests, “Pretend I thought he was you, and say he never bothered to correct me.”

 

“Syd is painfully straight.” Ray insists, “He probably thinks jerking off would make him gay.”

 

“You’re not exactly evidence to the contrary.” Leonard replies, with a smirk.

 

“Bisexual, please. Don’t cheapen my identity.”

 

“Oh, aren’t you two adorable?” A shrill female voice announces from behind them. Ray pulls Leonard closer to him as they turn around to greet the interloper.

 

“Aunt Millie.” Ray beams, a smile that Len can see is fake –  _ too close, he’s too close _ . Aunt Millie pulls Ray into a hug, and presses a sticky pink kiss to his cheek.

 

Aunt Millie is a long, thin woman, with long straight hair and no real definition to her face or body. Around 50-something, her make up is overly applied, and makes her look older than her years. A mid-life crisis in fuchsia lipstick, and too thick mascara. Dressed in all in pink, she reminds Len a little of a child’s drawing of a woman.

 

“It’s been so long, darling! Where have you been hiding?”

 

“I’m afraid that’s my fault, ma’am.” Leonard purrs, plastering on a sweet smile, “I’ve been keeping him away from the family. You know what it’s like in the first flush.” Leonard grins at Ray, “Especially with someone as  _ devastating _ as your nephew here.”

 

Aunt Millie giggles, “Our Raymond always was a heartbreaker.”

 

“I’m not surprised.” Leonard smiles, nuzzles into his side. His hand rests on Ray’s ass, because why the hell not? It’s a magnificent ass.

 

“Raymond, aren’t you going to introduce me to your young man?” She asks Ray, nudging his arm and levelling a lascivious look at Leonard.

 

“Aunt Millie, this is my boyfriend, Leonard Snart.” Ray says. He doesn’t trip over the word boyfriend at all. Dr Lecter has some acting talent.

 

“Leonard Snart?” Aunt Millie’s eyes narrow, “As in…”

 

“Captain Cold.” Leonard purrs. He takes Aunt Millie’s hand, presses a kiss to the orange skin, and flicks the latch on her bracelet, “Thief, murderer, general good for nothing.”

 

“Well, good for some things.” Ray mutters. Leonard slaps Ray’s ass, enjoys the yelp of surprise Ray lets out.

 

“Oh, oh…” Aunt Millie seems lost for words, “I think I see your brother over there, Raymond. Excuse me.”

 

She slips past them, muttering, “Murderer, oh my word.”

 

Leonard isn’t laughing, but it’s close. Ray is giggling, honest to God giggling, and Leonard isn’t charmed by that. He peers across to where Aunt Millie is talking to Sydney’s new bride, while still eyeing Leonard as if he’s about to kill everyone there. Leonard waggles his fingers in a wave. She huffs and turns her back.

 

“You stole her bracelet.” Ray says, “You announced you were a thief, and stole it in the same sentence.”

 

Leonard pulls the gold chain from his pocket, turns it over in his hand, “It’s a fake anyway. It’s too light.”

 

“So you’ll give it back?” Ray asks.

 

“I never said that. I may deposit it in one of the other guest’s purses, let her see it there. A wedding isn’t a wedding without a punch up.”

 

“What kind of weddings are you going to?” Ray asks, “Actually don’t tell me.”

 

There’s the sound of a microphone turning on, and the wedding DJ announces it's time for the newlyweds to share their first dance.

 

Ray pulls Leonard closer to him as the walk to the edge of the dancefloor. He presses a kiss to Leonard’s close cropped hair, and whispers to him, “$10 says the song is I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing by Aerosmith.”

 

“Adele. That Bob Dylan cover.” Leonard counters, with an impressive fake smile, “Princess looks like even an acoustic guitar would give her a heart attack.”

 

The lights dim and a spotlight falls on the happy couple, followed by the opening strings of I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing. Sydney mouths the words along to his new bride, as he clumsily sways her from side to side.

 

“It was our song.” Ray explains, with a fake smile, “He hated it.”

 

Leonard’s taken aback by the sudden stab of sadness he feels at that. Ray deserves so much better than these shitty people. At the very least, his brother deserves some payback, and Leonard is very good at doling out revenge. 

 

Leonard presses a kiss by Ray’s ear, and whispers quietly to him, “Let’s get your song back.” 

 

Ray looks confused for a moment, before Leonard moves to stand in front of him. He’s worked the ring from his pinky and it definitely won’t fit Ray, but it’s fine, because this isn’t real. He’s half on the dancefloor, and he makes sure as he drops to one knee to trip Sydney just a little. 

 

“I can’t wait any longer, Raymond.” Leonard says, loudly, reaching to take Ray’s hand, “Remember this song? It was playing in the cab that first night I took you home. I knew as soon as I heard it, and your hand slipped into mine that I’d be asking you this one day. Raymond Palmer, will you marry me?” 

 

(Their actual first night together was a messy handjob in the back of a ‘gentleman’s club’ in the late 50’s. Nat King Cole was playing on the jukebox. He kissed Ray to stop him singing. Leonard probably should worry that he remembers it so vividly.)

 

Leonard pulls the ring out. The room is silent, except for the song playing. All eyes are on Leonard and Ray. Leonard is to keep up his nervous look as he sees the faces of the livid bride and groom reflected in the window behind Ray. He’s doing his best hopeful, his best humble. He wants to sell this, wants everyone to be talking about Raymond and his handsome young man for the rest of the night. Sydney stole Ray’s girl, the least Leonard can do is steal his wedding. 

 

Ray looks like Leonard has taken the wind out of him. There’s a sweet flush to his cheeks, and a look of complete surprise on his face. Leonard should probably have warned him a little more, but this is actually a bit more fun. 

 

“Uh, I… yes.” Ray stammers. He seems to find his voice, and says it again, “Yes. Yes, Leonard, I will marry you.” 

 

Leonard grins, a wide smile that almost hurts his face, it’s so unlike him. He doesn’t miss how Ray’s eyes light up as he sees it, or how his own stomach clenches. He slips the ring as best he can onto Ray’s finger, and gets to his feet, and kisses Ray so hard that he nearly loses his footing. 

 

There’s applause around them, cheers and whistles. It’s  _ perfect _ .

 

Ray pulls back first, smiling too hard into the kiss to keep it up. He looks happy, he looks loved up, he’s selling this perfectly. Leonard is almost jealous of whoever will get to make Ray look like this for real, the person that wins his heart and  _ son of a bitch _ .

 

Leonard doesn’t want to let someone else see this. He looks to where the ring is half across Ray’s second knuckle, and it looks right there. Their hands look right together, Len’s long, tan fingers tangled with Ray’s pale ones. 

 

And Leonard wants to cut and run. He doesn’t owe Ray anything, he’s here for a job, he’s here for a revenge plot, he’s not here to have epiphanies or  _ feelings _ . 

 

Ray’s hand comes up to cup his face, turns him back to him. He’s still got that fucking stupid, happy look on his stupid face that Leonard needs to start hating again.

 

He squeezes Leonard’s hand, presses a light kiss to his lips, and whispers softly against them, “Yeah, Snart, me too.” 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come scream at me on [Tumblr](http://damnstevens.tumblr.com).


End file.
